~~~A Soldier’s Fear ~~~ Excerpt Chapter One…


 A Soldier’s fear coming soon…

~~ One ~~


Olivia slowly ambled through the treatment centre towards Dominic; her heart was beating so fast she thought it might burst open. As she approached him, he struggled to sit up comfortably. She glanced at his six-foot form lying helpless in the bed. She wanted to throw her arms around him and never let him go. He looked into her weary eyes and then turned away from her, “You shouldn’t be here Olivia, you must go, now, please.” Tears filled her eyes and began to cascade down her reddened cheeks. “Please Dominic, don’t do this, we deserve a chance, you can trust in me, in us. I will never hurt you,” she cried.

“One kiss does not change anything Olivia, what did you expect? The whole relationship thing is not for me, I’m sorry, but there you have it. Now, please, just go.”

“I don’t believe you, I know you feel the same way as I do, I felt it, I could not have imagined that. I don’t know what happened to you in the past Dominic, but you have allowed whatever or whoever it was to ruin you. I saw the look of fear in your eyes when you let your guard down. I saw you, the real you, briefly. We shared an incredible moment, one that you may want to deny yourself, but I won’t,” she waited expectantly for a response; however, it did not come. He was lost to her, for now at least, nevertheless, she was not leaving him without a last word, parting advice for him to think about while they were apart. “Oscar Wilde once said: Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” She paused momentarily hoping for a response, but there was nothing. She sighed deeply, turned and wandered slowly back through the treatment centre with a heavy heart.

Dominic watched her form moving farther and farther away from him. He did not take his eyes off her until she had disappeared from his sight. He would not allow his resolve to weaken, he couldn’t, he gave his heart away once only for it to be returned to him in pieces. He would never forget the pain of the rejection by the woman he loved with all his heart. Since then, his heart had hardened dramatically, the shutters were down and that’s the way he liked it. Olivia Clancy was the first woman who had penetrated his hardened heart in four years, he had not seen it coming, she took him by complete surprise and it made him feel vulnerable again.

Dominic was 30-years-old, single and about to repatriate to Britain following his accident from a humanitarian deployment in Iraq. He had been part of a handful of SAS soldiers on a mission in Northern Iraq to gather intelligence. This was the first time British troops have been in active service in Iraq since 2009 when they withdrew from Basra. US Marines and Special Forces had already landed on the Sinjar mountains a few weeks previous. There were thousands of refugees seeking refuge in the mountains from the unsparing militants. The aim was to get as many of them to safety as possible. Dominic had sustained a severe injury to his leg, after losing his footing on the SinjarMountain and broke it in two places, the breaks were not clean, and so the healing process would take much longer. The breaks were so severe that he was advised by his consultant he would not be back in active duty for at least six months, due to the muscle damage also sustained during the fall. He would need daily physiotherapy going forward to get him back on his feet and into active service again. He was not in a good place mentally. Over the years Dominic had served in Afghanistan several times as well as Iraq several years previous. He had seen the worst kind of human atrocities over the years and survived an IED explosion on his last tour in Afghanistan. Over time, this had taken a toll on his mental health and he was suffering from PTSD, although he would not admit it to anyone let alone seek treatment for it, he had learned to conceal it over recent times. To him this would be an admission of failure and failure was not a word in his vocabulary.  He dreaded the call of nighttimes, the darkness that shrouded his entire being, and the return to the war-zones in his nightmares, which gripped his emotions like a vice, each night.

Olivia had walked into Dominic’s life the day after he had landed in Iraq, she was a freelance war photographer and out there at her own risk without the support of a big organisation behind her. Dominic recalled the first time he had laid eyes on her and smiled. She was bold, feisty and very beautiful. Her hair was dishevelled and blowing all over her face, her almond eyes penetrated through him and he was taken aback. She had managed to persuade the convoy to allow her to tag along. She was in his armoured vehicle for two days and during that time, a mutual attraction was born. She was there when he lost his footing and fell on the Sinjar Mountain and remained with him until he was airlifted to safety.




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They all fought, some returned to a welcoming home. Some did not? Don’t walk on by…

I do not know with what weapons world war III will be fought, but world war IV will be fought with sticks and stones. ~ Albert Einstein



 A Broken Soldier

Once on the front line, brave and bold

A few years later, broken and old

Once he was needed, lives he saved

Now he is lonely, his spirit he gave.


A decorated soldier, struggling to survive

He disguises his pain due to his pride

Smiling on the surface, sadness within

Walking tall, weary, and thin.


Yes, we see him, just an old man

With our eyes wide shut because we can

We fail to notice the badge of honour

He wears with pride upon his collar.


Which tells a story of a long ago hero

Who fought the war, returning with zero

Who loved and lost with a heavy heart

For on his return, his wife did depart.


An extended hand was all he did need

To help his transition to civvy life succeed

How different his life may have been

If only a loved one could have seen.



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Can love survive?

Two people who have both suffered tragic losses in their young life; both of them avoiding love for completely different reasons. Joshua, a soldier in the British Army, a bomb disposal expert and the very best at what he does. Angelina, an editor for a local newspaper and writer in her spare time. Both of them focused on their careers.
Brought together unexpectedly, they fall unconditionally and irrevocably in love with one another. All is perfect in their lives until Joshua is unexpectedly posted to Afghanistan for six months. Angelina’s worst fears are finally realized. Joshua has to go, it’s his duty as a soldier, but the pull in his heart is strong and he leaves her behind with a heavy heart.
Angelina is devastated and prays for his safe return. Until one day, a few weeks into Joshua’s deployment, there is a knock on her door that changes her life forever.

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The hardest obstacle of all, an insufferable pain, no one should have to endure.

Once again, Emily and James are separated for a final time. James is sent on a three month deployment to Sierra Leone on a training and advisory capacity, leaving behind Emily and his two children. While he is gone, Emily is faced with an insufferable tragedy that is set to break her completely. Unable to reach James, she is faced with an impossible decision, one that could tear her whole family apart. James’s fate in Africa is about to take a wrong turn unbeknown to him, thus changing the course of their lives forever. Can they find away through the tragedies which befall them, or will their lives be broken forever…?




My inspirational journey to India…

I recently visited India with my husband and daughter. While we were there we had our marriage blessed in my husbands traditional cultural way. I had an amazing trip and learned so much about India and the culture, which is far removed from ours here in the UK.  What hit me hard was the extreme poverty, which is visble everywhere. I found this so hard to digest. It made me realise just how lucky we are here in the west. We don’t know the meaning of the word “POOR”.

My marriage blessing: India
Me raj and Lilliah blue dress blessing day

We are blessed with clean water, which runs freely through our taps. We have a great sewerage system, which having been to India I now realise how much we take these things for granted. The everyday things we don’t even think about, such as, filtered water, clean air, smog free cities, good sewage, housing and financial benefits for the families living on the poverty line. Food banks, charities, and the lists are endless. Not to mention reliable electricity that does not cut out many times a day.

I found myself feeling guilty for my life, I gave money away to beggers and local poor familes. I fed the starving dogs, which were rife everywhere we went. One day, someone said to me, “Dawn, you cannot feed the world, so don’t do this” I thought about this statement for sometime and although I understood what the person was trying to say to me, I stand by my first thought, which is this, “I may not beable to feed the world, but I can try, one person at a time.”

Small steps can make big changes, helping one person could help their entire family, to not bother becuase there are too many, is to give up and close our eyes to the starving and hungry around the world. It makes me sad that we have copius amounts of food mountains going to waste in the west and yet there are so many hundreds and thousands of people dying each and every day for lack of food and water, something that every single human being has an unconditonl right too, for with out these basic things we cannot survive.


Golden TempleWhile I was in India I fulfilled a life-long dream of mine and visited the Golden Temple. I was surprised to learn that this beautiful temple was made out of real gold. It is so beautiful when you see it with your own eyes that no amount of photography can do it justice! My husband, daughter and me walked into the holy waters of the temple to bath our feet. The magical waters of the Golden Temple are believed to hold healing powers that can heal just about anything. People travel from all over the world simply to bath their sick and injured in these magical healing waters. I felt very inspired after my visit to this famous Temple, I watched all the people bathing in the waters at midnight, their belief in the temple astounded and inspired me. I was totally fascinated by the whole experiance. All who enter the golden Temple have to wear head scarfs or you will be refused entry. You also have to walk in with bare feet.

Me pictured at the Golden Temple: India

Me with headscarf at golden temple

During my trip to India, I experienced many wonderful things. We travelled to the infamous Bhakra Damn; this damn supplies a great deal of India with water, which is supplied by China. If this damn should burst its floodgates, the whole of the Punjab and Delhi would end up flooded and under water. The security surrounding the Bhakra Damn is phenomenal. Apparently, many many years ago, the damn was under threat by an enemy and they attempted to blow up the damn. Now, tourists can only get so close, cameras and mobile phones are not permitted. If you are caught taking a picture you will have your phone confiscated. Security is very very tight.



 We stayed in Marlipur in the Punjab, it’s a small town in the countryside where all the old traditions are still used to day. We stayed on a traditional Indian farm where the women still cooked using clay ovens. It was totally fascinating and I admired them greatly. They were so hard working. Everything they ate and cooked with was sourced on my husbands familie’s farm. From Aubergines, marrows, potatoes, peas, mangos, tomatoes, onions, garlic, haldi, monkey nuts and Basmati rice to name but a few. They never needed to go to a shop for food, which was truly amazing. Everything came from the farm. The cows provided milk, butter and paneer. The chickens provided the eggs… It was so wonderful to see and experiance. I left feeling so in awe of my husbands relatives. There was one wondeful lady called “BB” she was close to 100-years-old! She liked to smoke an Indian roll-up cigarette from time to time. When we arrived I was amazed to see this tiny fagile old lady smoking a roll-up. So I went out and bought her a packet of 20 boxed cigarettes! You would have thought I gave her pure gold when she recieved them! See this amazing picture below. In my humble opinion, anyone who reaches  100-years-old is entitled to a cigarette or two…

Me sitting with BB in India…

100 year old india lady smoking!

I saw the world through new eyes on this trip, it has made me think more about how I use and spend my own money. It made me appreciate my life and all that I have. This world of ours is a very small place, yet the differences across the borders are gigantic in many instances. My hope for this small world of ours, is that someday there will be no hunger.




RELEASE DATE 30/11/2014



THE POPPY FIELDS BOOK #3 (In Life We Trust) will be released at the end of November now! (Sorry for the delay)… I know how much my fans are eagerly looking forward to the release of book #3


This final book in THE POPPY FIELDS TRILOGY, will certainly be worth the wait. Filled with intrigue and intense twist and turns, this final book will keep you teetering on the edge of your seat all the way through to the end!


Soldiers Fear high res drk blue final


Following the release of THE POPPY FIELDS in November, I will be working on my eleventh book, “A Soldier’s Fear” which will be due for release in February 2015. This is another military romance about the struggles of a young soldier, Dominic, returning home and struggling with PTSD. He then meets a young woman, Olivia, by chance and soon falls in love with her, only he will not allow himself to trust her after being hurt so tragically by a previous partner…. So he pushes her as faraway as possible, not allowing her to get close to him. Eventually, she gives up on him, beleiving his feelings are no longer reciprocated. Olivia goes on to pursue a life without Dominic, however, he is never far from her thoughts. Then tragic, unexpected circumstances thrust the two of them together, but will they find a way throught this tragic time? Can the bond of love be strong enough to bring them together? “A Soldier’s Fear” coming soon…